a girl with a passion to change

So today didn’t work out calorie wise. But you know what? I’m not upset about it. It’s ok to have a treat and not worry about it too much. I did burn a good 215 calories on the bike which is more than if I had done nothing. I didn’t count the calories from dinner but we had pancakes with 3 small pieces of bacon and maple syrup. I’m sure that would be around 600 - 700 calories, which I set 750 aside for dinner. We also had chips and dip (1/3 of a large bag and 1/5 tub of dip). I’m freaking out over exams and so my eating has mucked up. I’m focusing on great way more on track after my exams and during my holidays. 

Wow j just noticed I have 70 posts on this blog of mine. Well today me and my sister baked biscuits, hers were yoyo’s with passionfruit icing, while I made shortbread. I feel quite bad considering I ate 3 pieces of shortbread (127 calories each) and two small yoyo’s. My sister and I are also going to go do some skipping with our speed ropes and I’ll need to go on the exercycle but I’m sure I’ll get my net intake down to 1440 calories. In good news I weighed in at 172.2 this morning which means I’m still up 1.4 lb from my lightest but hey lighter than my heaviest. I’m just hoping that this slow and steady wins the race pays off in the long run because I feel like I’m getting nowhere in a hurry.

so i know a girl thats moving back to our town after living in a different region for a little over a year. And it’s weird to think that her coming back will bring back so many bitter sweet memories. I don’t know how to feel as she’s all ‘super popular’, and then i’m just me. I know my happiness shouldn’t rely on that and I hope so much that everyone else has moved on and she has to start back at square one too. I really wanted to be 160 lb by the time she got home, to show i’m not some lazy girl, but rather determined and worth knowing (sad i know). And i’ve just fluctionated between 174 and 171 over the past couple of weeks. She’s home in around a month and I want to have lost some significant weight. I know this sounds so dumb. 

I think my problem is getting to the end of the day and having to burn of calories to be within my goal and then being too lazy to do anything. Argh. But for example today I’m the opposite, with calories left over, and I feel like i need to eat them all or that I can. It’s so silly and I can eat them to lose weight still but I know i’ll do better without them. So annoying and crazy. I just want to lose weight and I need to ♥

why can I never fully get back on track

I really really need to get back on track. It’s crazy to think that the only things stopping be from reaching the health body I really would love, is food and exercise. It’s crazy to think that too can bring so much joy as you eat it, but yet cause so much dread, guilt, weight or whatever you what to call it. I need this lifestyle change! I looked in the mirror the other day and was apples by the sheer size of my thighs, (well there’s nothing do sheer haha) and new right that instant that I’m in a much worse position than I thought. My BMI does have to shrink and I know it. Goodbye extra chocolate etc. well for now anyway, I’ll thank myself later. I’m thinking of writing everything down in a little notebook style book, but then I find blogging that little bit easier and I can do it on my phone. I don’t know, but I kind of need to see it for it to real.

Getting back on track ♥

Hello little blog. I guess I haven’t been to good to you lately. Tonight I’ve fine to realise that I am a huge comfort / emotional eater. I also tend to eat way more than I need to if it’s sitting in front of me eg. this past weekend. I’ve also started buying Weight Watchers jellies which are amazing and delicious, not too mention super low calories. I also brought their instant chocolate dessert which wasn’t as good as I thought it might have been, and I’m yet to try the vanilla custard I brought. I’ve been feeling quite down lately, not all the time but frequently enough, I also think it may be to do with eating junk food. I’m starting fresh tomorrow on a 1440 calorie plan and easing myself in. I did weigh in on Saturday morning at 172 lb which I was so proud of (but was up to 172.8 lb the next day due to fish and chips that night) and I’m too scared to hope on since this weekend had been horrendous.

Since I’m on study break for exams, I’m not able to snack of chocolate etc. as I won’t be near shops to do so. I’m also planning to go on the Exercycle during breaks between studying to burn a few extra calories :) I’m really looking forward to eating clean!

Sample of this weeks menu:
- 1 sachet of porridge with 2 teaspoons of brown sugar
- 2 mandarins and 2 corn thins
- Vegetable stir fry with 3/4 cup of cooked white rice and sweet chilli sauce.
- 1 bowl of Weight Watchers jelly.
- 2 mandarins and 2 corn thins
- Whatever mum makes for dinner (approx 700 calories).